Insanity

Do you ever wonder what it feels like to go insane. I mean, how does one tell if they are crazy when they can't trust what they think? Lately I have been in a black hole. Shit just seems to keep going wrong. I can feel depression seeping into my Brain and I feel helpless to stop it. At times like this I always think of my brother.
My twin brother actually. When we turned nineteen he started to act different. Then one day I watched him break down into a quivering mass of fear and delusion right before my eyes. This was the first episode in his bought with something between extreme bipolar and a light schizophrenic.
Thinking back to biology class and sociology class from high school, we both have similar genetics being twins and all. And we were raised by the same families and went to the same schools until highschool. So if nature and nurture are so similar, why him and not me? Did the four years we spent in different schools make the difference?
Of course, all of this leads me to another problem. If it happened to him will it happen to me too? Taoism would tell me that this doesn't matter because it will happen if it is going to happen and there is nothing I can do about it. so there is no reason to try and even think about it. After all, they are right about that. There is now way to prepare for what would happen.